Day 30–30 Days and 30 Ways: Stay Strong and Keep Going

Now that we have reached the program’s final day, the first thing that I would like to share with my readers is how much better I feel after writing this. When I started developing this program, I had no idea if any of it would work. I compiled all the ideas in my mind that I have gathered over my years of life experience and reading about spiritual development and did my best to share things that work for me.

Have I reached all of the goals in my vision journal in 30 days? No. Do I expect to reach all of the goals in my vision journal within the next three years or so? Yes. With that, I am also keeping in mind that things may not develop exactly as my vision is written. If positive thinking and visualization works, why is that? I have no clear answer to this. Based on my own belief system, I think it is because there is a power that is greater than me that knows better what is best for me and my growth.

As an example, when I started the process of my separation, I thought I was going to be living on the beautiful campus of a private school, equipped with a full kitchen, ample housing, and manicured grounds. My contract had been signed for next year. After signing my contract in May 2019, I received a letter in June 2019 saying that both my contract and housing offer had been rescinded because I requested too many days off in the month of May, ( (I only requested a few hours off and 1 day) and some of my comments were incomplete.

Beyond devastated because my whole entire world had seemed to fall apart at once, I had no idea what to do. Lost and confused, I thought about getting an apartment so that I could live separately from my soon-to-be ex. I soon found out that I could not move away and bring the children with me because I had to wait for my separation paperwork to be finalized.

I continued to work with my lawyer to finalize the separation paperwork. During this process, my ex filed for divorce. This then lengthened the time I had to live with him because I now had to wait until the divorce was finalized before I could move. If I moved, I could not bring the kids and I would risk losing equity in our home.

In late August, I had a stroke of luck and there was an opening at the school where I was previously employed for five years. Excited, I jumped at the opportunity and I continue to work there now.

To add an additional level of complexity to this matter, in November I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. There was no way to tell how long it had affected me because that is just how Lyme disease is. I never got the telltale bulls-eye rash, which I later learned only about 20 percent of people actually present with.

Tired and struggling internally with whether or not I should proceed with the divorce, I trudged on. My ex wanted to proceed with the divorce, with the idea that reconciliation could be a possibility. At the time, I also thought it was possible.

In late November or December, after paying my lawyer a good amount of money, my lawyer decided to drop my case because of my lack of timely communication and one late bill. Devastated again, I did not get a new lawyer. Since most of the matters in my Marital Settlement Agreement had been resolved, I figured I could handle the rest myself.

From November until February, I took very strong antibiotics — doxycycline and amoxicillin to treat the Lyme. In February, I felt somewhat better but was definitely not back to one-hundred percent. Each day still felt like a challenge. As a busy teacher and mom, I have a lot of daily responsibilities. Getting to work, picking up my boys, preparing dinner, and getting through bath night was all the energy I had. Tending to my Marital Settlement Agreement was not high on my list of priorities. I knew it was important, but my children’s daily needs and my career were more essential.

Back to February and the Lyme Disease — My doctor put me on A-L Complex by Byron Labs to fight the Lyme. She took me off the antibiotics since I was doing somewhat better. I stayed on the AL Complex until this July and went off it for a week so that I could be retested for Lyme. I am now in complete remission from Lyme disease, and I feel so much better. Following the recommended diet — gluten and dairy free (sugar free sort of)— and adding more protein to my diet helped a lot, along with taking antibiotics and herb prescribed.

What happened with my Marital Settlement Agreement? To reiterate what I said earlier, keep in mind that I was really focused on taking care of my children and keeping my job. By the time my children were sleeping, around 9pm, I had no energy to really read the agreement.

Prior to my divorce being finalized, we saw a court mediator, and she helped us to develop our custody plan. We agreed to share our children, he would have them for one week and I would have them for one week. That custody agreement stayed, he refinanced our home, and I found a new home.

Signing off our home to him was one of the most difficult days I ever faced. My brother came with me to the refinance since it had to take place in our house. It was truly awful. I cried and cried. Because of Covid, I guess it couldn’t have been done at a lawyer’s office. I don’t know — my ex arranged it.

Fast forward to now. It is two months later (September 2020). I am living in a new home. I am working on making peace with only having my boys every other week. As of June 3, my divorce was final. My health is much better. I started a blog at www.borrowedbooks.org. I am writing children’s stories, articles about education, and articles about happiness and success. I plan on continuing my career in education, building my blog, and creating a happy and healthy environment for children when they are with me.

I have high hopes for a great future. I feel strong. At some points during this journey, my feet felt they were weighed down with bricks as I tried to run through sand. Now that I am over most of the hurdles that come with divorce and major illness, the light is able to come back through.

To any of my readers who might be struggling with a major change in life circumstances, an illness, or any type of daily struggle, please stay strong and keep going. When you focus on what works for you and staying positive, things will get better.